100120

Today is a good day. Many keep saying that the promotion that I didn't get hasn't 'hit' me yet, but I think it has. I'm not upset or hurt over not getting it. I feel rather numb and indifferent now.

That Consciousness Cleanse that I've been doing (this is Day 3) is working out ok, except some of these first steps I've already done before. I'm going to continue with this process and see what comes of it.

I definitely need to start getting back into my yoga practice. I think that's the reason for my aches and pains.

Namaste

100119

I've thought things through since yesterday's post. I was hurt, and I let that hurt feeling run rampant and allow it to control me. I'm glad that I grabbed the reigns and put a halt to it. After seeing things in a different perspective, after much contemplation, I realized that what needs to happen is exactly what will happen. If I get that promotion, so be it, but if I don't I can't let it stop me from seeing the bigger picture: the Divine knows better. My mantra for today is: Let go and let God/dess. It's so hard to relinquish control, but I know that it needs to be done. So be it.

Namaste

100118

Feeling very frustrated at the moment. Trying to rise above this frustration and understand it more. Perhaps this frustration, or rather the source of the frustration, is the catalyst I need to change my reality. I think that I'll let things proceed as they will, paying attention to my feelings as I go along. If things need to change because I cannot tolerate this situation, then I'll really push for Barnes and Noble in February, since that's when they'll be hiring.

Baduktai T'Caem

100113

Today I put in my application and resume at Barnes and Noble. I need a change from DD. I like the job and most of the people, but sometimes the stress really overwhelms me and starts wreaking havoc on my health, mental/emotional/physical. I did ask the Elements' blessings, as well as the L/L's.

Today is an okay day, I suppose. Just feel withdrawn and 'out there,' if anyone can really know what that means. Oh well. I have to work tomorrow, basically to make up my calling in yesterday (which I really don't mind...I won't be minus one day of pay in next week's check).

Baduktai T'Caem (my personal Blessing words from Spirit)
Namaste

100111

Life is but a Journey...Death isn't the Destination but only a doorway into the next reality, and thus the start of a new Journey.

I've been really considering quitting my job and finding something new. I'm tired of rude and ignorant people, even though in any job I might fight there will always be rude and ignorant people. But I feel the job I'm in now make people more worse, more agitated, and more ignorantly rude. I so need a change in my life: a new locale, a new job, new opportunities.

I also would like to find a Life Partner. I'm tired of being alone, feeling so unloved. I know that I'm loved by other friends and family, but I want to be loved by someone special, someone close, someone intimately.

100106

Happy New Year. Well at least one of them during a year's time. I think that there should be several new beginnings each year to start again. Humans constantly fall short of their dreams, goals and ideals. Being realistic about our humanness and our frailties and failings will enable us to become better spiritual beings, regardless if we believe that we are or not. We're human. We make mistakes. What better way to help us learn is but by getting up, brushing ourselves off, forgiving ourselves and starting again. I've always believed that there are 3 basic keys to Happiness: to Forgive, To Let Go and To Move On. But a greater universal truth is that Life is but a practice: we may succeed and fail, but the thing is to never quit. Learn from our mistakes, be mindful of the world around us and learn as much as we can, from each other, from our universe and from ourselves.

Namaste